*When they ask me what i liked best in this world...I'll tell them it's you...*

hahakz...today it a totally weird day! and i like weird! hahakz....it's really interesting...okok...the events during school hours is nothing one...after school is a different story altogether...hahakz...
After CCA...i had to stay back to capture some pictures of the parent support group meeting or whatever la...so after CCA i went mcdonalds to buy my dinner before the meeting...which supposedly starts at 7pm....
so i went la...with the digital camera and all...and i'm dead STUPID!! I should have checked that everything was fine with the camera! (and to be frank...i dunno how to use that bloody thing)...so there i was in that conference room with all the parents support people...and then i actually had to introduce myself and what i was doing there...so on...so forth la...then i was like 'shit...how to work this thing'...but eventually i managed to switch it on...but then the battery went flat...urgh!! to make things worse...there wasn't any spare battery in the carrier!! YIKES!! Damnit sia! So there i was desperately asking the camera to wake up...
Mrs Soh knew something was wrong because i was like 'help!' and had this pititful look on my face...eeks!! then luckily she was nice about it...she said 'never mind...you can take again the next time there;s another meeting'....so i ended up running around trying to find for Ms Wee to get extra batteries...i mean...i just had to la...but everything lock liao! i bumped into Mr Nur and Mr Choong on the way and they offered to help la...only Mr Nur had Ms Wee's old hp number...aaah!!! so then got this teacher...so kind help me call Ms Wee...she was nice about it too...she say never mind la...next time only lor...phew!! but i was like...urgh!! 1st assignment and i can't do it right! but i'm in the Editor! not photography team....waaaaa....i really need to go ask them how to use that thing sia...skali i go school on monday...the camera working well...i had been pressing the wrong button all along...then walau rite!!
hahahkz...i'm such a goofball!!!!
Fell asleep before 10:11 PM

*I can feel the rush...now i know it must be love...inside my heart is burning up...it's melting away...*

Okok...after so many days...i feel like me again...so msny things happened since the day i turned 16...
i didn't go to school on the 16th...because at 10.35 pm 15 Feb...my grandmother passed away...erm...yea..
i was dead upset...and i couldn't sleep at all that night...so yea...k...that part i dun wanna talk about it...
i got some things sorted out and i'm glad now...i dun even think i'll be bothering much about boys right now...
yes...i still like the CCSS guy...and i've never been happier about it...we're like...funny...weird...but funny...
we're so carefree about this whole situation...about liking each other before we even meet...anybody nearby would suspect
we're going out if they were to eavesdrop on our conversation...i know...because my sister was asking me if i was talking
to my boyfriend (okok...so she had a hint because she picked up the phone when he called)...
but he's a really sweet guy...we don't say much to each other...and we enjoy the silence in between...it's not awkward or
anything...it's comfortable...and when we do talk...we'd end up with some crap...but that's what's so nice about talking
to him...i never get bored...
And the distance apart...it really helps me...because then there's no stress...no jealousy...no suspicions...the most
special friendship...it's based on trust...and the security assurance...
ok...so he does admit sometimes that he gets a little worried...like the other time i was chatting with Sue online...while
i was on the phone with him (it always happen actually...and he knows i'll always be on the computer everytime he calls)...
and so he asked me who i was chatting with...i told him 'Sue'...he mistook it for 'Zul'..(whoever he is...wait...Zulfikar's
my cousin...so...ook)...then i can't remember what he said...but i replied something like 'takkan ngan komputer pon nak jealous'
and he was 'mesti ar...' and i can't remember...then blah blah blah...i said 'Sue la...Suliani...'...then he said something about
'ingatkan Zul...'..but you get the point...
Anyway...my life's back on track...there's still homework and tests and CCA...
So much more waiting for me to explore!
Fell asleep before 11:10 PM

Hahahakz...okok...it's my b-day...so i'll just give a quick shout out to everyone i my life!

My mum...thanx for giving birth to me on this day :D I'll never be here without you...and i love the perfume! you're the best!!
Dad...thanx for the birthday cake!...hahakz...chocolate...yum!
Sis...Nurul...hahakz...thanx for the cuttlefish...hahakz...study hard for PSLE next year...
Fatin...I know you're too young to read...but i'll give you another shout out soon...

For the people close to me!
SUE! Thanx soooo much girl!! You've been great to me! :D
KHAYMAR! hahahkz...thanx for the testi! hahakz...stay gorgeous and bubbly always!
ZALENA! Hahahkz...stop procrastinating girl...start doing what you really wanna do...
LIANA! Hakuna Matata! hahahkz....stay cute always!
AISHAH! Stay cheerful! Thanx for the pressies you guys...and Mai too!
AMANDA! Hahahakz...stop sleeping in class...hahahakz...keep smiling!!

For the rest of you...well...study hard...and i can't wait for the day you guys turn sweet 16...hahahakz...for people like Jack, FookTien, Sherman...your crappiness is never boring...keep on crapping! Adi...hahakz...you've become my 2nd favourite chat buddy...hahahakz...

Special Thanx to....ASYIQIN!!! YOU'VE BEEN MY BESTEST BEST FRIEND GIRL!! THANX FOR A WHOOPING 9 YEARS!!

To my friends in PSN...or J-MacMedia...or Solo_and_Unique...or sc8f...or nusensation!! Hiya all doin? Hahakz...there's Rafina..Gero...Mick! Thanx guys...for everything! There's karina...but i've only chatted with you in the forums...there's Nika! Man...u have one awesome forum! Then there's Aaron...hahahakz...i'm still digesting man! you have GOT to be kidding me! Malini...Naeema...those are the familiar names...hahakz...Rachel...hahkaz...the vids supplier...but it's great to have you around girl!

Hahahkaz...okok...i better go now...i have homework...and i haven't touched on it...hahakz
Fell asleep before 10:05 PM

Ook...i've made up my mind...i'm not going to let people mess up my life right now...and i'm not going to bother doing what i dun wanna do or go where i don't wanna go...i dunno...i don't really feel like socialising much this week...bah!! I'm being very nice here because if i were to really be writing about EVERYTHING...it's not gonna be nice...trust me...
Besides talking about bad things on the Web is not good...i'd rather say it up front...pfft! because writing everything down will not solve anything...so whaddaheck!
I'm sick of people terrorising everything i do...it's my problem and it's only up to me to solve it...because it's not involving anyone...nobody's getting hurt...so why is it that everyone's suddenly involved? Listen...to whom this may concern...i doubt you'd be reading this...and since i've talked to you about this...i don't think it will make much difference if i write it here...
Well...GET OVER IT!! Don't you have anything better to do? Ever since this began...everytime i got you to help me thru it...all you've done is make things worse for me...WHY? What are you trying to get out of me? YOU TELL ME!!! By messing with my life...and other people's lives...it's not benefiting you in anyway...you know why? BECAUSE I CAN'T TRUST YOU ANYMORE, CAN I? CAN I?
Do you have any idea about the position you're putting me in?
You can't just walked into my life as and when you want to...play around with it and then step out living me with a puddle of SHIT! You think that's funny? There's still so much more i would have said to your face...but i won't...you know why? BECAUSE I'M GONNA WASTE MY BREATH ON YOU...
Have a pleasant journey ahead...oh..and you know what? You've made me realise that liking someone...SUCKS! Especially if it involves you...hope you're happy with that...because right now...me and irwan aren't gonna go anywhere...
Hope you're satisfied...
Fell asleep before 11:48 AM

My life is a total mess...it slopes up one side and down the other...i've been really mixed-up...thinking too much and then completely zoning out during lessons...it's driving me crazy!!
Anyway...thanx Sue...for helping me through all my rough patches...no matter how irritating i can be when i talk about er...stuff...hahakz...and the update...i'm not sure...i still dunno anything...my thoughts are so tangled...i can't think straight! remember this? "My head and my heart are always in conflict with each other"? Yeah....thanx for understanding...
So here's the deal: I can't tell him right now because he's sick...that poor guy...see la...told him not to smoke..he still smoke...and when he's sick..i can't expect him to call me can i? and er...i dun have his number...sheesh!
So anyway...at the moment...it's either a win/win or lose/lose.....i dunno...it's 51% lose/lose...seeing that you know what i'm like...Sue...how?? HELP!!
I can't talk to his cousin..let's face it...all forms of communcation is being snatched away...but you know about the forum i told you Sue? i think the people are right....i dunno how he's gonna be like in person...but i feel bad...
i dun want him to be thinking too much...and at the same time...i really want him around...you know what i mean? and the other guy...i dunno either (gosh i hope the both of them aren't reading this right now)...
It's killing me! why? I DUNNO!!
I miss the old times where everything's so simple and innocent...now...URGH!!
I envy people with amnesia...they get to live life twice...

"One should not go where one is not wanted..."

Fell asleep before 9:48 PM

hahakz..okok...i'm writing this a little later than i should actually..the real story happened on Saturday...5/2/2005!!
OMG!!! I SAW TAUFIK BATISAH!!! AND HE'S SOOO COOL! HE HAS THIS VIBE..AND IT'S TOTALLY AMAZING!
yea...so like any other fans out there...i went to Singapore Poly even after i had told some people i wasn't going to go...hahakz...Anyway...i went there with Sue!! YAY!! well...ok...we saw taufik...and i teared like shit la...i dunno why oso...must be becoz i'm too happy or something...i was there sniffing and all and suliani besode me kept trying to take him picture..hahakz...
hahakz....well...i think all my screaming and shouting and clapping and crying made her become a fan of taufik too! yay!!
Haiz................well...then we went to Bugis...we saw some Jurong Sec people in SP though...hahakz...ook...went Bugis and walked till we cannot walk anymore liao! hahakz...but it was soooo fun!! I WANNA DO IT AGAIN!! :D

Fell asleep before 5:48 PM

Hahahakz...okok...by request of zal and sue...i'm writing a new post :D
ook...my life...is a total mess...i dunno what i want in my life anymore...i dun think i wanna be giving details here...it's just that...at some point in life...certain things that were once really important to you...you now don't really want or need it anymore...and it's really sad...because after a while...you might look back and realise that...you might want it after all (sue...i think you'll be understanding this part...maybe zal too...)
Anyway...i managed to pull through today!! It was AGONIZING! Well...you guys know what i'm terrified of right (now now sue...don't even think of it!!!!)? well...i thought that during chem..we'll be doing THAT experiment...so i was DEAD nervous the WHOLE day!! When it finally blew into chem period...walau...i almost jumped off walls and screaming in delight!!!!! We were going to do a different experiment!! Titration!! I was damn happy la...and everything juz went well for me...hahakz...for once...i managed to finish my experiment....and i wasn't lost at all! YIPPEEEE!!!!
Then after school...after mother tongue...me, sue, jack, sherman and fooktien stayed back to do some decoration in class...what shit la...decorate...we ended up just pasting 3 posters on the wall...and eating in class...like party liddat sia...only no music...there was nachos...potato chips...chocolate...even slurpee!!! hahahakz....so shiok!!

Fell asleep before 8:58 PM