I don't know anything anymore.
I don't know who I am. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I want to do.
Lately, i feel like there's this huge empty hole in my life. Maybe I'm just thinking too much. But maybe I'm so used to doing something, like going to school that when I'm actually not, I feel useless. Ha! That doesn't count the fact that I'm jobless as well. Call me lazy, heck, call me whatever you want! At least then i'm identified to you.
Reading. It's useless really. I've been reading too much to realise life is nothing like any of those shit i read. I'm just using a book to escape reality and the truth that is always in my face. I guess I'll never grow up. I'll always be trapped inside dreamland, writing my own stories when all i'm doing is lying to myself.
I'm lost. I'm drowned. Everytime I reach the surface, with a glimmer of hope that I'd find something waiting for me, a wave just crashes over me and I'll keep drowning again. Maybe I'm not meant to grow up. Maybe I'll just keep trying to claw my way up an endless wall.
I don't even know who to turn to anymore.
I don't even know if i initially had someone to turn to.
I don't want to keep faking positivity and smile like everything's fine. Because it's not. I'm hollow. I don't have life in me. I'm without soul, without spirit. I'm here...
But I'm not feeling it...
Fell asleep before 2:04 AM